Every day I see, read about, and support people who are willing to
have an open mind, accepting that differences are different upbringings,
genetics, person, environment, opinions. They trust their instincts, let the
futile prejudices that are built within go little by little, and they gain a
new perspective that creates an even more open mind.
Sometimes I think the only thing keeping people from being good,
purely good, is the need to fact check and factually judge. "Oh, she is from Asia. Oh, she is twenty-six. Oh, her hands are different."
My Hands
It is damn not fair that I need to make other people feel better
about my limbs. I have accumulated over my lifetime a nice stack of incidents
and comments that I have suddenly realized I hate shuffling. I hate that I have
these interactions to look back on and think about. Some days I wish I could
make a statement, hold a press conference and just say, "Hello! Yes! I was
born with a few less fingers than most people, same goes for the toes."
I do not really believe this would solve or prevent the insensitivity I have faced. I take an excerpt from TINA FEY'S BOSSYPANTS:
My whole life, people who ask about my scar within one week of knowing me have invariably turned out to be egomaniacs of average intelligence or less. And egomaniacs of average intelligence or less often end up in the field of TV journalism. So, you see, if I tell the whole story here, then I will be asked about it over and over by the hosts of Access Movietown and Entertainment Forever for the rest of my short-lived career.
Stating fact I
was born this way, this is me does not stop what really bothers
me about people gently asking what happened? It is not so much that I am tired
of explaining (though I am tired of explaining) or that it tends to reflect an
indecency of person but that it demonstrates a shortchanging of me. I had a
teacher, a teacher I had liked, tell me that she initially thought I was special
needs after she saw my hands.
I despise that. My ability and my worth should not have to be
gained back like I am in-the-hole once my hands are taken into account. But you
know, people are free to think that way. People are free to make judgements and
think less of a person because of the way she or he looks or dresses or
behaves. People are free to discriminate on their own time.
What offends me and what throws me into a contained fury is that
this type of person, the type to ask what
happened, acts as if they are my champion for imposing terrible
encouragements you are doing
such an amazing job. They
become engorged with gross comments well
your hands are super cool as they
try to nonchalantly change the subject they have brought up. There is no great
transition from knucklehead asshole.
Again, Tina Fey touches on this phenomenon. It is a desire to
appear a better person to "seem brave or sensitive or wonderfully
direct" when the truth is, people are just over-the-line curious to put it
super cool politely.
