Feeling Safe in South Korea

I admitted to some friends a thought I have about going home to the U.S. - I'm really excited to get back and see the people I miss and to do the things I miss. It'll be happy to get back in a place where my daily struggles are more professional and creative rather than cultural and languagual (for lack of an actual word I can't think of right now). With all these imaginings and an animation about going home, I also have this idea that I could very well be shot and killed upon returning to America.

One of the girls laughed and said that the radical Koreans were getting into my head. Well, where are people getting shot dead at schools, convenience stores, movie theaters, and places of worship? Where are people walking around in public with loaded guns? It's not paranoia driving this idea, it's matter-of-fact reason. It is a reality, one that won't change how I go about each individual day (America isn't a war zone after all), but it will be a small adjustment in mind set from the one I have gotten to know, living in South Korea.

The tremendous sense of security I feel living in Korea has translated into this world of trust and reliability I've never experienced before. It hasn't taken away the token of worry but it has reinforced a world view and every day living that I didn't think could exist. Some small examples: as a young woman of the smaller size, walking home late at night, I have stopped feeling that tightness and rigid fear of being attacked. The thought is still there, but the instinct - the sixth sense I've learned to trust - is nearly gone. A couple more years of living like this and that expectation of violence might vanish for good.

Sunday Lipstick & Music

This past school week, from Monday, not including Wednesday, I was so tired. And I blame the five-day weekend I had last week because it was cruel to come back to work from that. By Friday, basically every teacher who would normally talk to me told me how exhausted I looked, and I tried explaining my theory as to why (5-day weekend) to my co-teacher multiple times with no success, which made me even more tired - *breath* - it's a good theory I think. He would've applauded it I know it.

I powered through and after my last class of the week, I sank down into my chair and turned up the volume on my computer for a listen to one of my favorites: 

And then this today: 

Dan Deacon: We Can't Stop 50% Reduction (Straight Chop Remix)

Say what you will, these are awesome, plus a coat of lipstick to finish out my weekend. 

Family Matters

Had a wonderful Google Hangout with my family this morning. My relationship with my family is sporadic. Living an ocean away from them this year has capitalized on that; we've had to poke each other with sticks a few times. It's given me practice up-keeping long distance relationships, a necessary life-skill after college. My inevitable sensitivity to the forms of correspondence, digital and letteral, reflects my hot-then-cold attitude towards people in general. But what I've begun to truly understand, from not being a fifty-minute car drive away from the most important people in my life, is unconditional love and support. They are the ones I can jab with a stick after an absence and who will subsequently smack back, pin me down, and let one rip.

And coming this summer, yes, six out of seven Nedeau-Owens will be in Korea! This is the first big family trip in a long time and I can't wait. One of my friends does a lot of traveling with her mom and we've talked about how nice it is to travel with family -- no pretending, I am mean and grumpy but also somehow delightful to be around. I'm probably going to cry when I see them. 

When I studied in France, my first conscious time abroad, I missed my family from an angle that surprised me. I was seeing and smelling and tasting and hearing and touching SENSING all these things I hugely wanted them to be there for. Just so I could say, "Mom, look! Dad, do you see? It's Notre Dame! It's the Eiffel Tower! It's Monet's Garden!"

I am extremely excited to be with them as they experience and react to South Korea. I am so curious to hear what they think, see how they process everything with what different perspectives they will bring. Korea holds a lot of weight in our family and it will be a happy trip if also at times difficult, angsty, and tiring. It's going to be FABulous!! Poke. Love you, family. 

Open Class Success

"Hello, beautiful children!" I exclaimed to our 4-2 class yesterday as they came piling into the English room. My co-teacher SK fell to her knees laughing with good humor because we had just finished 4-1 open class with the principal.

I didn't think that I was nervous for this open class, but I had a pretty terrifying dream the night before about the computers not working, then not being able to find the right Powerpoint, and then the principal walking around the classroom pointing at the plants I forgot to water. I guess I am nervous I thought on the walk to school. 

SK and I did less "planning" together than I have in the past with other co-teachers, which I felt fit our personalities. I do sometimes wish there was more communication, but we have a good system that was reinforced by the high praise from the principal. It felt so good to hear that we did a good job. I was very happy and relieved for SK, too. She's been scrambling for the past few weeks, more than usual -- this class meant a lot for her professionally. 

As soon as the principal left the room, the air was light and we let out high-pitched gasps of glee. YES. WE DID IT. The 3-2 teacher then came in to ask how it went. Good, good, very good! The kids were great and SK is a top-notch teacher, truly one of the best. All was well and our second 4th grade class was just as successful as the first. I felt energized the rest of the day from the feedback and recognition. 

It was days like yesterday that made me think I could stay here for another year. Yesterday was a happy day. And I'm reminded of my role, especially on the bad days, by my students. Earlier this week I was outside by the pond when one of the third grade students ran up to me. A huge bee suddenly appeared and we both quickly and cautiously backtracked. "Oh, I don't like bees. Bees angry," she said. She's not the most outspoken student in class and I hadn't really ever heard her speak English. "Ugg, I don't like bees either," and we swapped bug bite histories.  

Musée d'Orsay, Seoul

When Anne mentioned that she wanted to see the impressionist paintings that were visiting from the Musée d'Orsay in Paris, my memories flashed back to walking around in the Tuileries Garden and seeing Monet's "Water Lilies" for the first time. That was such a happy day - sunshine, good company, and beautiful artwork. Turns out I was remembering the Musée de l'Orangerie, but the Musée d'Orsay is on the opposite side of the Tuileries Garden, housing impressionist and post-impressionist work in the marvelously restored train station. That day, our super-intense-awesome tour guide Joelle led us through the museum. Equally happy day.

Joelle and the Louvre, Me and Candice with a lightpost

sprouting from our combined awesomeness

Anyway, the timing didn't work out for a couple of weeks, but we finally made it to the National Museum of Korea, where the impressionist paintings from France would be and will be displayed until August 31st. The exaggerated, poppy flower-lined stairway from the subway station to the museum prefaced the atmosphere up at the museum. Korea has this wonderful way of making everything delightfully comfortable. From convenience store straws for one's milk to the fancy coffee machines at most places of business to the lovely, motivational stationary, there is an overall feeling of ease and gentle thoughtfulness in Korea.