Being Seen in 'Heated Rivalry'

One of the moments that spoke volumes to me from Crave's significant contribution to pop culture in the adaption of Rachel Reid's romance book series Game Changers is that of David Hollander and his panicked and accurate explanation to why he was at his son's lakeside cottage unannounced - he needed the old charger for his phone because all that they had home were the new ones that don't fit into his old phone and he needed the old one to charge his phone which the new ones don't work in and he had left the old charger there. I have been seen in television, it's about goddamn time. 

Jacob Tierney the director, writer, producer of Crave and HBO's overnight phenomenon Heated Rivalry deserves all the praise for creating art in that depiction of modern desperation - David Hollander had presumably tried multiple times to call his son, not wanting to interrupt said son's "silent retreat." But what choice did he have? And what would you have done? Fuck the guy that started it all by green-lighting that fucking lightening port. We live lesser lives with lesser ports in our iPhones and what now? Now David has unwittingly exposed his son's ten-year situationship with hockey rival, ladies man, and known asshole. What the fuck, man? 

Beyond Apple ruining lives, one is presented with opportunities to learn and grow. I, for example, got the chance to sit on plane ride and actually read the book I had packed into my carry-on. Shane Hollander was finally able to face his nightmare telling his parents that he is gay. And that he loves Ilya Rozanov. 

Heated Rivalry is a piece of artwork. The acting is phenomenal and having not read the books and not knowing much about the plot prior to watching the six-episode series, I immediately latched onto the character's inner monologues. These appear on the pages in the books and across Hudson Williams' face as Shane in the television series. It's amazing work. The difference between Ilya Rozanov and Connor Storrie speaks volumes to the art form. From the script to the framing to the shots to the music to the editing - it's such a pleasurable ride. The departure from bullshit and choice to show joy and love and the hardships in joy and love... it's beautiful. And in this current moment of truly fucked up, arbitrary violence, I am thankful to have this kind of beauty and good sex scenes on my television. "The romance genre never disappoints."

Connor Storrie & Hudson Willliams

And Then "So-And-So" Went Up and Died on Us

Being a young, spry thirty-something with lived-in experiences and currently considering myself to be "pretty good on a micro level," I hardly expected grief to come crashing into my dermatology appointment. There are many factors to the condition of our integumentary system, one of them stress. Without giving away too much HIPAA pertinent information, I found myself losing my voice and the tears welling up when I tried relaying that I thought my issues began around the time my college friend died. Hot damn, it's been ten years. 

It has actually been eight years (I am both terrible at math and remembering how old I am), and this experience came about in the heels of my recent visit to my grandpa who is ninety-two years. While I am thankfully fresh to the funerals and people dying, he has lived years I have not and many more of them. Certain aspects of life you can only experience with said many more years. 

A few times in catching up with my grandpa, he and his wife would be in some story and all of a sudden they would say in unison, "And then So-And-So went up and died on us." It was kind of like an inside joke and a way to acknowledge the normalcy of it all at their age. Perhaps also a tribute to their own lives and the gratitude to the time they have left. As someone the other day said to me and something my grandpa and his wife surely know is, "It won't be long before [they] take a permanent dirt nap." 

Simply the Best

I had known Amelia best through her request off sheets for work and conversations with her mom Maureen. She was outrageously busy with athletics, academic pursuits and clubs, musical engagements (both vocal and instrumental), 4-H competitions, and obligations to her church, community, friends, along with extra tasks taking on at our workplace. She was outstanding and as mentioned at her funeral by her pastor, always running around from one activity to the next. And the thing about Amelia is how she excelled at seemingly every single one of her pursuits. She was an excellent soccer player, skier, student, an award-winning dog trainer, and she played I don't even know how many instruments. One of my favorite moments with her was hearing about a kayaking trip - this trip/route is known to be pretty intense, one that requires kayakers to take a course practicing flipping underwater in order to practice flipping back right-side up because drowning is a risk with the rough waters. When asked how this trip went, Amelia said, "It was fun!" 

After Amelia was diagnosed with cancer, this perseverance and over achievement continued in the most Amelia way - she kept on being herself, graduating high school, completing a semester of college courses from her hospital bed, and living her best life while fighting so hard to beat cancer. She was the most positive person I know, and she always put others first whether she knew you well or just in passing. I still don't know how she did everything she did. As I begin to process her death, I liken her to Alexander Hamilton. The question, "Why do you write like you're running out of time?" reminds me of Amelia's incredible work ethic and talents. What she accomplished in her life is so much. 

The Big Bang Theory & COVID-19

We are living in crazy times. The last time I decided to purchase full seasons of The Big Bang Theory was when I was nine months into my year of teaching English as a Foreign Language (ESL) in a rural city of Icheon-si in South Korea. My apartment wifi or internet connection was not fast enough or was not working, and I remember I had to go to the coffeehouse and take advantage of their free wifi for the download onto my iPad mini. It took forever and I pretended to do work while I browsed Facebook and took selfies in between watching the ticker bar of the download. I do not remember why I opted to get two seasons of the show (maybe I really decided to treat myself) but I do remember the triumphant feeling when the download was complete.

From then on, The Big Bang Theory has played. It helped me get through those last three and half months of Korea, which were trying, wonderful, filled with happy moments as well as deeply sad ones. It has been there in the background ever since, playing in the early morning as I make my coffee and get ready for the various jobs I had had since, including to this day for a job I love. I sometimes fall asleep to the familiar punch lines and canned audience laughter. Familiar, home comfort, television companionship.

When COVID-19 hit, I decided after six years of watching the same two seasons over and over to download the next one. It is interesting to me that now is when I would decide to input a new credit card into my iTunes on that same iPad mini from Korea. I do not attribute all of it to COVID-19 and the horror this infectious disease has brought onto literally everyone in the world or that my experience in South Korea is anything like our lives with COVID-19. It is just interesting because I am a somewhat frugal person - perhaps it simply highlights how life's small pleasures contribute to the ability to stay calm and be pop happy. And is not that how to fuggin adult.

27 Years

I started this post to look back on my 27th year, because it was a year benchmarked with drawled thoughts of, "Gawd, I am such a grown up." Yes, those years right after college, venturing into the workforce and then living and teaching in South Korea for a year gave me newfound perceptive and opportunities to showcase my adult-ness. But far enough past the automatic progression of school years, a 27-year-old is faced with the humdrum of day-in-and-day-out and is forced to make real, solo decisions.

In my 27th year, I became legitimately interested in things I had before only really wanted to like. Life stories from those older than me, politics, and saving for retirement got the blood flowing. I went free market and bought health insurance on my own for the first time, made donations to organizations I started to read and whose work I care about, and bought my first car. This is the age where I started to legitimately forget how old I was.

At 27, I began digging my heels into my grumpy cat ways, really trying to figure out my introversion. I cared slightly less about what I thought people thought about me, and I have come through my 27th year feeling more exhausted with my adult responsibilities. It's like things are easier but harder. I am roller blading down the hill but up the hill. Twenty-seven was a pivotal year in overall awareness.

When my college friend died unexpectedly at 27 just before Thanksgiving, it was hard to think about feeling positive about that 27 personal growth bit. I instantly pulled up Facebook and clicked on her profile. She had just uploaded a new profile picture... I had seen it a couple of days before on my New Feed. She had just texted me a few weeks ago. We had just been to the same party two or three months ago.

Thunderstorms in Santa Monica

Our less than two-hour flight from San Francisco to LAX was delayed more than five hours because of thunderstorms. Thunderstorms in California! All the irritation of boarding and re-boarding three times at least was met with a small chuckle. Thunderstorms in California during a drought and wild fire season!

All that commotion seemed to fit our situation. I was very much looking forward to our visit and being able to see some of the aspects of Grandpa and Cheryl's every day life, yet I also felt guarded about the trip. Calling my grandpa with flight departure time updates is the most we have talked in a long time - it's just one of the realities of our relationship.

Oakland & San Francisco Take-Out

Our two-day stop in the San Francisco area can be summed up in my AirBnb review of our stay with Melissa in Oakland, CA:

We needed a vacation from our vacation (time to relax and slow down), and Melissa's place was perfect. Very clean apartment with lots to look at: artwork, lego-work, cross stitch, books, and more. We ordered in food (via GrubHub) and vegged out on the comfy air mattress in our private room. 

Small bathroom amenities and towels were provided, as well as an apartment key and a wifi password. Cats are very sweet; the cat smell was noticeable when I first walked in, but my nose quickly adjusted. Would definitely stay here again should I ever be back in Oakland.

Amtrak Train Memories & Improvements

The first time I rode the train in the United States, I was with my mom and my pink rabbit blanket. My baby sister was there, too, and we were headed to Denver, Colorado from Nebraska. I was four-and-a-half.

I remember the big, bright window best - looking out while I felt the train chug along beneath me. That memory is a good one, one that I think about once or twice a year. It was exciting to have my rabbit blanket with me, to see the outside zoom past like it does in the car, and to be traveling. I liked that my mom and my sister and I were together with a few select belongings stuffed into a suitcase.

Seattle & Port Townsend & Beautiful People

I am so thankful and grateful to my family in Seattle and Port Townsend, Washington, What a fantastic time in the great northwest with truly amazing people. Dean and Dan are my dad’s cousins, therefore, Samuel and my second cousins.  They are married to Jan and Vicky, respectfully. Dean and Jan live just north of the traffic-crazy city of Seattle, and Dan and Vicky live in the picturesque city of Port Townsend, a half an hour ferry ride away from Dean and Jan.

This trip was the first time any of us have really met — the Owen side of the family has a family reunion every two years, so while we all have technically met, it was a long time ago and not real impressionable. I wasn’t sure how it all was going to work as we walked to meet Jan at the airport, but I was open to many scenarios.

Flight Day is Happy Day

It feels good to be back in the airport with my carry on luggage, ticket, and passport in hand. It feels especially good to be traveling with my brother Samuel for this summer trip. Everything is a little less stressful with him here (mainly not having to go to the bathroom with all my luggage). But seriously, having a travel companion is really nice. I approve!

We are heading to Seattle, Washington, to visit family and to attend my college friend’s wedding. Seattle has been on my list for a while now – I’ve wanted to see the Needle and take in what I imagine to be the salty air. People seem to really love Seattle; several friends and family friends visit Seattle on a regular basis or have recently travelled there and above to Canada. It sounds like a healthy place to be. I’m excited.

Blog Carnival Master: New & Inspired Ideas of Home Comforts

It is my pleasure to be hosting this month's Reach to Teach | Teach Abroad Blog’s monthly "Blog Carnival."

Each month, a blogger-teacher-traveler hosts and asks a question, which is voluntarily answered by interested bloggers. Published by the fifth of each month by the host on their blog, the Blog Carnival focuses on advice and helpful tips for ESL teachers. If you'd like to contribute to next month's Blog Carnival, please do contact Dean at dean@reachtoteachrecruiting.com - it is a very welcoming process.

Here is this month's topic:

How has living in a foreign country changed your idea of home comforts? 

[NOTES: Feel free to talk about what aspects of living in a new place - such as your living quarters, the culture in your city, the food in your city, etc. - you liked the most.]

RTT Teach Abroad Blog Carnival

Blog Carnival: New & Inspired Ideas of Home Comforts

It is my fifth month contributing to the Reach to Teach | Teach Abroad Blog’s monthly "Blog Carnival." Each month, a blogger-teacher-traveler hosts and asks a question, which is voluntarily answered by interested bloggers. Published by the fifth of each month by the host on their blog, the Blog Carnival focuses on advice and helpful tips for ESL teachers. If you'd like to contribute to next month's Blog Carnival, please do contact Dean at dean@reachtoteachrecruiting.com - it is a very welcoming process. 

I lived and taught English as a Second Language (ESL) in two rural elementary schools in Icheon, South Korea for one year (2013-2014). 

It is my privilege to be hosting the Reach to Teach | Teach Abroad Blog's Blog Carnival this month.

May 2015 – Abigail Nedeau-Owen:

Abigail Nedeau-Owen of Bodging for Apples II asks:

How has living in a foreign country changed your idea of home comforts? 

[NOTES: Feel free to talk about what aspects of living in a new place - such as your living quarters, the culture in your city, the food in your city, etc. - you liked the most.]

Blog Carnival: Teaching and Age Preferences

It is my fourth month contributing to the Reach to Teach | Teach Abroad Blog’s monthly "Blog Carnival." Each month, a blogger-teacher-traveler hosts and asks a question, which is voluntarily answered by interested bloggers. Published by the fifth of each month by the host on their blog, the Blog Carnival focuses on advice and helpful tips for ESL teachers. If you'd like to contribute to next month's Blog Carnival, please do contact Dean at dean@reachtoteachrecruiting.com - it is a very welcoming process. 

I taught English as a Second Language (ESL) in two rural elementary schools in South Korea for one year (2013-2014). I also was a teaching assistant at Creative Learning Preschool in Wisconsin for seven months prior to Korea. I mainly taught in the Two-Year Old Program. 

April 2015 – Rebecca Thering:

Rebecca Thering of Rebe With A Clause asks:

"Who is best to teach? Adults? Teens? Kindergarten? Which group do you love teaching and why?"

Blog Carnival: Letter to Myself

It is my third month contributing to the Reach to Teach | Teach Abroad Blog’s monthly "Blog Carnival." Each month, a blogger-teacher-traveler hosts and asks a question, which is voluntarily answered by interested bloggers. Published by the fifth of each month by the host on their blog, the Blog Carnival focuses on advice and helpful tips for ESL teachers. If you'd like to contribute to next month's Blog Carnival, please do contact Dean at dean@reachtoteachrecruiting.com - it is a very welcoming process. 

I taught English as a Second Language (ESL) in two rural elementary schools in South Korea for one year (2013-2014). 

March 2015 – Holly Beddome:

Holly Beddome of Adventures with Holly asks:

"Write a letter back to yourself when you were just planning your trip. Give advice, forewarning, hopes and encouragement. What would YOU tell yourself, in retrospect? How have you changed as a result of your travels?"

Solo hiking in Icheon, South Korea

Media on Repeat

Inspired by the monthly newsletter I've been receiving from Kyra and Nico of Snail Mail, here, one more time on this blog, are three short films I'm crazy about. After how many views and how many years since I first saw them, I continue to draw fresh air from them.

There is something very rewarding about watching a piece of art that has elements of serious planning as well as elements of serendipity. What each of the short films accomplishes is a neat structure that supports a goal that is both concrete and unpredictable. The truth about both life and filmmaking is that planning does nothing more than get you there. It is a vehicle in which to turn the key; the rest seemingly happens on its own. I admire how each film works from a simple platform to embrace the spontaneous moments that evolve around the camera.

MOVE from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

Blog Carnival: Feeling at Home when Abroad

It is my second month contributing to the Reach to Teach | Teach Abroad Blog’s monthly "Blog Carnival." Each month, a blogger-teacher-traveler hosts and asks a question, which is voluntarily answered by interested bloggers. Published by the fifth of each month by the host on their blog, the Blog Carnival focuses on advice and helpful tips for ESL teachers. If you'd like to contribute to next month's Blog Carnival, please do contact Dean at dean@reachtoteachrecruiting.com - it is a very welcoming process. 

I taught English as a Second Language (ESL) in two rural elementary schools in South Korea for one year (2013-2014). 

February 2015 – Sharon Couzens:

Sharon Couzens of TEFL Tips asks:

"At what moment did you finally start to felt like you were at "home" during your time living abroad?" 

         .

My time living and working in South Korea was at its worst isolating and at its very best fulfilling and carefree. I think I would still be living and teaching in my city of Icheon had I achieved a steady feeling of "home." But I never found my place in Korea. There are moments, however, that life was good and felt complete. Moments of home - some familiar and some completely new that fit into my world of thinking. 

First, I want to thank the people who introduced me to and experienced with me new foods and new ways of dining. Those bowls of vegetables from above, sitting among the small and cluttered market kitchen/kitchen tables, were such a sight! I had never seen anything like them and they delighted me beyond words (so I snapped a picture). In Korea, vegetables made sense, and every day at school lunch and every time I ate out at a Korean restaurant, I stuffed my mouth full of traditional Korean side dishes where vegetables are the star. 

Discrimination in the U.S.A.

Discrimination is part of America's blood and foundation. And I agree with "SOUTH PACIFIC" that something like discrimination is taught and repeated from birth. I believe that exploring other perspectives and cultures - experiences that push comfort zones and put oneself into a minority - is always going to be terrifying. I also believe that those kind of experiences (in which I have had little bearing and control) are the experiences that have shaped me into a better human, one that tries to see an individual through her or his ideas, thoughts, and work.

Every day I see, read about, and support people who are willing to have an open mind, accepting that differences are different upbringings, genetics, person, environment, opinions. They trust their instincts, let the futile prejudices that are built within go little by little, and they gain a new perspective that creates an even more open mind.

Sometimes I think the only thing keeping people from being good, purely good, is the need to fact check and factually judge. "Oh, she is from Asia. Oh, she is twenty-six. Oh, her hands are different."

My Hands

It is damn not fair that I need to make other people feel better about my limbs. I have accumulated over my lifetime a nice stack of incidents and comments that I have suddenly realized I hate shuffling. I hate that I have these interactions to look back on and think about. Some days I wish I could make a statement, hold a press conference and just say, "Hello! Yes! I was born with a few less fingers than most people, same goes for the toes."

I do not really believe this would solve or prevent the insensitivity I have faced. I take an excerpt from TINA FEY'S BOSSYPANTS:

My whole life, people who ask about my scar within one week of knowing me have invariably turned out to be egomaniacs of average intelligence or less. And egomaniacs of average intelligence or less often end up in the field of TV journalism. So, you see, if I tell the whole story here, then I will be asked about it over and over by the hosts of Access Movietown and Entertainment Forever for the rest of my short-lived career.

Stating fact I was born this way, this is me does not stop what really bothers me about people gently asking what happened? It is not so much that I am tired of explaining (though I am tired of explaining) or that it tends to reflect an indecency of person but that it demonstrates a shortchanging of me. I had a teacher, a teacher I had liked, tell me that she initially thought I was special needs after she saw my hands.

I despise that. My ability and my worth should not have to be gained back like I am in-the-hole once my hands are taken into account. But you know, people are free to think that way. People are free to make judgements and think less of a person because of the way she or he looks or dresses or behaves. People are free to discriminate on their own time.

What offends me and what throws me into a contained fury is that this type of person, the type to ask what happened, acts as if they are my champion for imposing terrible encouragements you are doing such an amazing job. They become engorged with gross comments well your hands are super cool as they try to nonchalantly change the subject they have brought up. There is no great transition from knucklehead asshole.

Again, Tina Fey touches on this phenomenon. It is a desire to appear a better person to "seem brave or sensitive or wonderfully direct" when the truth is, people are just over-the-line curious to put it super cool politely.

Blog Carnival: Teaching & Travel Resolutions for the New Year

Happy New Year! I am excited for this new opportunity to write a monthly post sharing my thoughts about teaching and teaching English as a Second Language (ESL) from my time as an ESL teacher in the Republic of Korea.

Reach to Teach (RTT) Teach Abroad:
The REACH TO TEACH | TEACH ABROAD BLOG is blog written, shared, and collaborated on by bloggers around the globe who are also teachers. Teachers who are also travelers and who have taught English as a Second Language in a wide range of countries. I am starting the new year blogging along with them, answering questions about my experiences teaching and traveling, offering my insights, advice, suggestions, stories, and opinions in the RTT Teach Abroad Blog Carnival.

The Blog Carnival:
Each month, a blogger-teacher-traveler hosts and asks a question, which is voluntarily answered by interested bloggers. Published by the fifth of each month by the host on their blog, the Blog Carnival focuses on advice and helpful tips for ESL teachers. If you'd like to contribute to next month's Blog Carnival, please do contact Dean at dean@reachtoteachrecruiting.com. 

January 2015 - Carissa Peck:
Carissa Peck of MELTING ACTIVITIES asks:

Since the blog will be posted in early January, the topic is timely. You've taught for all of (or part of 2014)! Maybe you have a new class, or are in a new country. Now that 2015 is rolling around what's the resolution that you will make for your teach year of teaching (or traveling)?

Happy 2015 Resolutions

It's the new year, a blank slate of mind. My resolutions for the next year have a lot to do with figuring out what's next and also with how to keep that motivation going to figure out what is next. After a year in Korea, something that has long been in the back of my head but is now strangely (surreal-ly) in the past, I came to certain realizations about what I want out of work and my life and what I do not want to handle in a workplace ever again. Certain compromises and it takes time in mind, here are my 2015 thoughts:

1. Follow a recipe and cook, bake, chef-it-up once every month or so. Maybe this will turn into taking a cooking class or pulling a blogging stunt and cooking through a cookbook.

Construction Complete!

For the most part, photo uploading is complete. If you happen to venture to my earliest Korea posts, there are some pictures missing (my apologies!), but the rest of them are up. Thank you for your patience and happiest of new years to you! Resolutions to follow, both personal and teaching related for the REACH TO TEACH BLOG CARNIVAL.

Much love,

Abby